A freshly minted noob

 

The virtual world of Second Life is exciting, scary and utterly confusing to first-timers. Unless you’ve been brought in by a RL friend who leans over your shoulder from your first login, you learned the ropes as we all did – by falling down stairs, watching the interactions of the established avatars and occasionally getting our coats pulled  by an exasperated veteran (Get off the damn landing zone!)

I’ve asked friends to recall their early noob experiences, to confess their confusion. Here are their responses.

WHEN I WAS A NOOB….

…I thought you had to wear ALL the layer options of an outfit at once – shirt, jacket, undershirt.
Miss Cast

…I didn’t know what copy meant so I would buy two, three or four of the same thing.
Molly Bloom

…I would wear the box I tried to open and didn’t know how to get it off me.
Dianna Granville

…when I bought boxed objects, I thought I had been ripped off. I didn’t know the object was inside.
Weller79

…I clicked on everything I saw hoping it would do something.
Amanda Magick

…for the first couple of weeks I didn’t realize there was sound. I thought the difference from one club to the next was the way people dressed.
Calli Glenfadden

…when I fell in the water, I thought I was going to drown (game over, man.)
Ladywhite Falcon

…I didn’t leave my house for the first week because I couldn’t figure out how to change clothes.
Jazzlyn Riptyde

…I thought I could exist on freebies and dressed accordingly, like a spotty teenager in ill-fitting clothes. No one will dance with you.
Sput TheRadishSlayer

… I spent 2 days trapped in a wall trying to figure out how to get out.
Titania Harbour

…I didn’t know about sandboxes so I would go around rezzing boxes everywhere. Then I’d leave them in random stores and streets.
Marie Sorbet

…. I thought everyone was cool and I was fascinated by my AV. Not so much any more.
Ceana

…I couldn’t figure out how to leave the welcome center.
Led Frenzy

…the first thing I thought upon entering Welcome Island was, ‘Where am I?’ Second was, ‘How do I get out of here?!?’
Eurias

…when I tried to click on myself to go into appearance mode I’d end up detaching all my clothes and having to start all over.
Kristyna10

…I thought i was trapped in a cage once. Like I can’t click the x?
Dreamy

…for at least a week after I first arrived I had no idea I could fly or tp so I walked endlessly over the mainland.
Laetitia Vella

…I couldn’t find doorknobs to open doors so asked people to TP me out.
Chef Lew

…I spent my entire first day with a motorcycle attached to my hand, swinging it around as I walked. I couldn’t figure out how to get it off! I walked up to the first person I could find to ask how to get it off.
THAT person turned out to be a prostitute and wanted me to pay her for sex. “You gotta be kidding me, people have sex here?” That was in ’07.
Arthur Earl Dexler

…The nice man invited me to click on the pink ball. I was very surprised by what happened next.
Lorelei Firehawk

…I went shopping for new skin at JOMO, dropping L3500 before I realized those weren’t demos I was selecting.
Bomb

…I went skin shopping and walked around for weeks with ‘Demo’ plastered all over me before someone pointed it out to me.
Jenisen Danick

…for the first month I was so afraid that if anyone talked to me, I TP’d away or just logged off.
Calli Glenfadden

…I jumped on poses balls thinking, Now what?
Lola

… I wouldn’t change unless I was in an SL dressing room because I felt I had privacy.
RFB Morpork

…I would hide in a corner to change clothes.
Scarlett Luv

…I closed the blinds of my house when I wanted to change clothes.
Eachan Branagh

…a friend spent two hours teaching me how to find and move an object.
Dearest Myrtle

…I was convinced everyone needed excite body parts (not sure why you need emoting nipples.) I rented a furnished skybox and was only allowed 10 extra prim. I’d dropped my nipples and was hundreds of prim over. My landlord was furious.
Dee

…after a few days stumbling around, a kind girl advised me I was gender neutral and had to buy my bits. BUY my bits!! Still have traumatic flashbacks of that moment.
Warn Dragovar

…I think I am forever a noob. I still fly into walls and fall in the water.
Daffney Anne Bellic

…I kept all the boxes from everything I got or bought. I didn’t know you could delete them until 6 months later.
Amanda Magick

…I fell in the water and got stuck for hours until a guy showed me how to get back on land. Funny and frustrating at the same time.
Allyce

…I sat on EVERYTHING.
Jazzlyn Riptyde

…I lost control of my new motorbike and crashed it through the bar at Crossroads during a DJ’s set – twice. I also crashed into their no-tell motel, half sticking through the wall. Really freaked out the couple in the room.
Marie Sorbet

…I desperately had to look up the meaning of “AFK” “LMAO” “BRB” and such like.
Tarjiman Ort

…I thought IKR was short for I Kan Relate.
Miss Cast

… I found a wonderful place called “camping” something- back then, camping was where you got paid LL to hang out. I thought it was fantastic, there were so many people. I didn’t notice they were all afk.
Alice Bardenboar

…. I couldn’t cam for a long time and just walked to things I wanted to look at.
Elwood Zanetti

…I accepted friend offers from many ladies, all of whom seemed to need lindens to buy clothes or pay rent. So many tragic stories!
Brash

…I didn’t know how to sit so I kept walking.
Impress Allen

…I couldn’t figure out why my halo, wings, being on fire and riding a slug made people mock me. I thought I was the coolest person in the room.
Molly Bloom

…I got stuck in a koala bear avatar for three days.
Jaici Fairport

…I would get naked and dress in a shopping mall without a care in the world. It was like dressing a Barbie doll. Now it’s ME!
AprilShowers Becloud

…. I wondered how the women got their real shapes into SL.
Zeus Michalski

…I thought poofers were the ‘in thing’ and loved to use them. Got banned at a few sims and pissed off a good many folks.
Piffy Difference

…. I got my first piece of land and wondered what the hell prims were.
Saraya Starr

…I thought everyone shared the truth about their RL. Problem is, I still do!
Fabio Lazuli

…I stayed logged into SL for five days straight. My dreams, first life and SL all melded into one.
Clyde Barrow

… I didn’t realize there were club dance balls and I only had one stupid dance. I wondered why everyone was so much better at dancing than I was.                                                                        Samstar64

…a 12-year-old boy avatar gave me a “school girl” outfit to wear – little plaid skirt, open white shirt…
Precious

… I took to fishing. I had fish all over the sim – in the sky, on the ground, everywhere. My friends were very patient.
Attilio Mersand

…I decided to change clothes at a club and ended up bare ass naked in the middle of the dance floor.
Ulrick Storm

…I looked awful on the first day. On the 2nd day I got turned into a vampire and got a makeover. [ED: Now she’s a model]
Nicci Winsmore

…I had no idea what SL time was. I live on the west coast and thought the little clock in the corner was a courtesy clock.
Miss Cast

…. I was standing in the front row at a Creed tribute concert when everyone was asked to remove excess prims. My skirt was very prim heavy so I went to detach it, accidentally hit Shirt and flashed the band. One of the band members passed me a tee shirt and asked if I was trying to get backstage.
Veronica Weksler

… I had no idea I could place an item parallel to a wall by using rotation. Cost me hours and hours of my time.
Lorelai Bonetto

…none of the above.
Edith Halderman

Got one for the list? Tell us in comments.

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