The virtual world of Second Life is exciting, scary and utterly confusing to first-timers. Unless you’ve been brought in by a RL friend who leans over your shoulder from your first login, you learned the ropes as we all did – by falling down stairs, watching the interactions of the established avatars and occasionally getting our coats pulled by an exasperated veteran (Get off the damn landing zone!)
I’ve asked friends to recall their early noob experiences, to confess their confusion. Here are their responses.
WHEN I WAS A NOOB….
…I thought you had to wear ALL the layer options of an outfit at once – shirt, jacket, undershirt.
…I didn’t know what copy meant so I would buy two, three or four of the same thing.
…I would wear the box I tried to open and didn’t know how to get it off me.
…when I bought boxed objects, I thought I had been ripped off. I didn’t know the object was inside.
…I clicked on everything I saw hoping it would do something.
…for the first couple of weeks I didn’t realize there was sound. I thought the difference from one club to the next was the way people dressed.
…when I fell in the water, I thought I was going to drown (game over, man.)
…I didn’t leave my house for the first week because I couldn’t figure out how to change clothes.
…I thought I could exist on freebies and dressed accordingly, like a spotty teenager in ill-fitting clothes. No one will dance with you.
… I spent 2 days trapped in a wall trying to figure out how to get out.
…I didn’t know about sandboxes so I would go around rezzing boxes everywhere. Then I’d leave them in random stores and streets.
…. I thought everyone was cool and I was fascinated by my AV. Not so much any more.
…I couldn’t figure out how to leave the welcome center.
…the first thing I thought upon entering Welcome Island was, ‘Where am I?’ Second was, ‘How do I get out of here?!?’
…when I tried to click on myself to go into appearance mode I’d end up detaching all my clothes and having to start all over.
…I thought i was trapped in a cage once. Like I can’t click the x?
…for at least a week after I first arrived I had no idea I could fly or tp so I walked endlessly over the mainland.
…I couldn’t find doorknobs to open doors so asked people to TP me out.
…I spent my entire first day with a motorcycle attached to my hand, swinging it around as I walked. I couldn’t figure out how to get it off! I walked up to the first person I could find to ask how to get it off.
THAT person turned out to be a prostitute and wanted me to pay her for sex. “You gotta be kidding me, people have sex here?” That was in ’07.
Arthur Earl Dexler
…The nice man invited me to click on the pink ball. I was very surprised by what happened next.
…I went shopping for new skin at JOMO, dropping L3500 before I realized those weren’t demos I was selecting.
…I went skin shopping and walked around for weeks with ‘Demo’ plastered all over me before someone pointed it out to me.
…for the first month I was so afraid that if anyone talked to me, I TP’d away or just logged off.
…I jumped on poses balls thinking, Now what?
… I wouldn’t change unless I was in an SL dressing room because I felt I had privacy.
…I would hide in a corner to change clothes.
…I closed the blinds of my house when I wanted to change clothes.
…a friend spent two hours teaching me how to find and move an object.
…I was convinced everyone needed excite body parts (not sure why you need emoting nipples.) I rented a furnished skybox and was only allowed 10 extra prim. I’d dropped my nipples and was hundreds of prim over. My landlord was furious.
…after a few days stumbling around, a kind girl advised me I was gender neutral and had to buy my bits. BUY my bits!! Still have traumatic flashbacks of that moment.
…I think I am forever a noob. I still fly into walls and fall in the water.
Daffney Anne Bellic
…I kept all the boxes from everything I got or bought. I didn’t know you could delete them until 6 months later.
…I fell in the water and got stuck for hours until a guy showed me how to get back on land. Funny and frustrating at the same time.
…I sat on EVERYTHING.
…I lost control of my new motorbike and crashed it through the bar at Crossroads during a DJ’s set – twice. I also crashed into their no-tell motel, half sticking through the wall. Really freaked out the couple in the room.
…I desperately had to look up the meaning of “AFK” “LMAO” “BRB” and such like.
…I thought IKR was short for I Kan Relate.
… I found a wonderful place called “camping” something- back then, camping was where you got paid LL to hang out. I thought it was fantastic, there were so many people. I didn’t notice they were all afk.
…. I couldn’t cam for a long time and just walked to things I wanted to look at.
…I accepted friend offers from many ladies, all of whom seemed to need lindens to buy clothes or pay rent. So many tragic stories!
…I didn’t know how to sit so I kept walking.
…I couldn’t figure out why my halo, wings, being on fire and riding a slug made people mock me. I thought I was the coolest person in the room.
…I got stuck in a koala bear avatar for three days.
…I would get naked and dress in a shopping mall without a care in the world. It was like dressing a Barbie doll. Now it’s ME!
…. I wondered how the women got their real shapes into SL.
…I thought poofers were the ‘in thing’ and loved to use them. Got banned at a few sims and pissed off a good many folks.
…. I got my first piece of land and wondered what the hell prims were.
…I thought everyone shared the truth about their RL. Problem is, I still do!
…I stayed logged into SL for five days straight. My dreams, first life and SL all melded into one.
… I didn’t realize there were club dance balls and I only had one stupid dance. I wondered why everyone was so much better at dancing than I was. Samstar64
…a 12-year-old boy avatar gave me a “school girl” outfit to wear – little plaid skirt, open white shirt…
… I took to fishing. I had fish all over the sim – in the sky, on the ground, everywhere. My friends were very patient.
…I decided to change clothes at a club and ended up bare ass naked in the middle of the dance floor.
…I looked awful on the first day. On the 2nd day I got turned into a vampire and got a makeover. [ED: Now she’s a model]
…I had no idea what SL time was. I live on the west coast and thought the little clock in the corner was a courtesy clock.
…. I was standing in the front row at a Creed tribute concert when everyone was asked to remove excess prims. My skirt was very prim heavy so I went to detach it, accidentally hit Shirt and flashed the band. One of the band members passed me a tee shirt and asked if I was trying to get backstage.
… I had no idea I could place an item parallel to a wall by using rotation. Cost me hours and hours of my time.
…none of the above.
Got one for the list? Tell us in comments.